Making A Difference

*Names have been changed to protect the confidentiality of our clients and their families

In 2021, our country was still fighting the Covid-19 pandemic. Shelters across the US were running at full capacity, limiting availability to resources for victims facing further isolation and abuse by their partner. Programs were struggling to find placement for individuals fleeing from abuse. Domestic Violence Programs across the country began collaborating to find placement for these families. As a result of our efforts, our program received a referral from an individual in a southern state for a family to relocate to Genesee County for safety. This is Nicole’s story.

*Names have been changed to protect the family and maintain confidentiality*

My name is Nicole and last year changed my life. I was scared, being abused my children’s father. Michael and I began dating on August 14^th, 2016, and things moved quicker than I ever expected. We fell in love and were married on March 2^nd, 2017.  He seemed perfect. He was successful, wanted everything that I wanted in life and showered me with love and affection.

Right after we got married, he wanted to begin our family and I was ready, I felt like I was living in a fairytale. In April 2017, I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. My parents discouraged our relationship moving quickly and when they found out that I was pregnant, they were less than pleased. They were concerned about how quickly things were moving and wanted me to tread lightly and keep my guard up. Little did I know, this was the first of many red flags.

My friends tried telling me that something was off, but I didn’t listen. Once I started dating Michael, I never went out anymore because if I wanted to, Michael encouraged me to stay home and hang out with him. I began getting irritated with my friends, because I thought he loved me and wanted to spend time with me. Within a month of dating, I no longer had friends, I pushed them away because Michael convinced me they were trying to control our relationship and didn’t want us dating. I was blinded by Michaels charming personality and the promise that he was going to take care of me forever.

In January 2018, we had our daughter Emilia. The first week with Emilia home, everything was great. Slowly all the responsibility was on me, and I began to feel depression coming on and Michael began telling me that I was fat, he didn’t love me like he used to and did not help me much with Emilia. One night, Michael forced himself on me six weeks after I gave birth. Four weeks after that, I found out I was pregnant again.

As I began seeing his behavior escalate, I knew I wanted to leave him. I reached out to my parents and told them what was happening, and they said I could come stay with them. I was going through a lot physically and emotionally and needed all the help I could get. I stayed with my parents for a few days and Michael began reaching out and telling me that he was sorry, he sent me flowers and promised if I gave him one more chance, he would do whatever he needed to do to keep his family. My mom gave me an ultimatum and said if I got back together with Michael, they would never speak to me again. I made the choice to go back to him a couple days later because I wanted my family together.

Everything seemed perfect again. That was until the night I almost lost my life at the hands of the father of my children. In 2021, Michael became angry with me after I asked him to stay home and help me with the kids instead of going out with his friends. He became physical, choking me until I lost consciousness and was bruised from head to toe.

When I regained consciousness, Michael was gone, and I called 911. I was in fear for my life while my children were crying hysterically and scared. The police arrived and began looking for Michael to arrest him and helped me to safety. I went into shelter that day and the YWCA helped me get connected with services. They helped me through the process of filing an order of protection, creating a safety plan and assisted with helping me establish a new life.  I am now independent and able to provide the best life for my children. Michael was eventually arrested, charged and sent to prison for 3 years.

We are a phone call away if you or someone you know is experiencing something similar.

Our goal through the year was to make sure our families were safe and their basic needs were being met. Many families lost jobs and income, making supporting and providing healthy meals for their families extremely difficult. 

Staff at the YWCA continued to assist at weekly food distributions throughout 2021, assuring that 16  families did not have to worry about putting food on their tables.

–   households were helped with food distribution continuously throughout 2021-